An incredibly gorgeous sunrise run up Flagstaff Mountain on the winter solstice.

It was Maya Angelou who said:

1. Starting off the year with a 50K social run on January 6th, the earliest I’ve ever been fit enough to run ultra-marathon distance.
2. A quick weekend trip to Telluride to tag along for a friend’s perfect, and freezing cold, elopement.

   

3. Somehow managing to get tickets and going to see Hamilton with Josh and my folks – my first post-TBI theater experience, which was tough.
4. Starting regular card nights with friends, and being able to actually play cards while having a conversation, and maybe talking some smack.
5. Days at the hospital followed by hospice and the death of my mother-in-law, and being grateful to have friends and family support us through a very difficult time.
6. My interesting month long experiment with ketosis for brain injury.
7. Slopping through the mud of the Quad Rock 25 miler with a friend running her first big trail race. Congrats Hannah!
8. Two trips to the Black Hills of South Dakota – one so Josh could ride the Mickelson Trail with a friend, and the next for Josh’s first 50 mile trail race – the Black Hills 50 miler. I had no idea the Black Hills were so beautiful and so close.

   

9. Big family trip to Hawaii, where my brain managed to survive the flights, snorkeling, and a house full of 12 people, and I was able to enjoy most of our time on the islands.
10. Lots of long slow training runs with Josh, including the time he contemplated never running again, and perhaps divorcing me, halfway through the 27 mile Pawnee Buchanan Loop. Yay running!
11. Finally being able to go to a restaurant without using ear filters OR tinted glasses!
12. Volunteering at the Never Summer 100k and being thankful I wasn’t racing as the runners came into the aid station while it hailed sideways.
13. Running the 93 mile Wonderland Trail  around Mt. Rainier in Washington with Josh. With all the water crossings, wildflowers, and spectacular vistas, this was such an incredible run!

    

14. Being at my hearing for Social Security Disability and crying as my brain melted and I struggled to speak (stress induced aphasia).
15. Receiving a denial for Social Security Disability…again. I’ll be doing a post on navigating the SSD process.
16. Watching the sunset through the golden aspen leaves along the Run Rabbit Run 100 course, and my husband dragging me along to finish my 3rd 100 miler.
17. Taking my friend Kristi for a 20 mile run, her longest ever, and watching her finish strong after an exciting encounter with a less than happy to see us rattlesnake.
18. Spending many days helping my mom clean, unpack, and hang pictures in their new home. Laughing at ourselves as we took breaks to play some very ugly games of pool.
19. Deciding it is time to sell our home, crying a lot, and getting it under contract before it even went on the market. We now have three months to find a more affordable place to live.
20. Teaching my brain to be okay riding a bike again, and getting up to 21 miles!
21. Gradually working on night driving. The Subaru Crosstrek records the time/distance of each trip, and I most recently drove 21 minutes at night, which definitely pushed my limits. We can just ignore the part where I almost fell down in the kitchen after we got back. A roadside sobriety test would have gone poorly.

At the beginning of the year I wrote a blog post about symptoms I still dealt with and my recovery goals for the year.  This is a snippet from that post-

Here are my goals for 2018:

• Start stringing my good days into good weeks!
• Be able to read a book – actually read a physical book, not just listen.
• Get a consistent part-time job. (I’ve been doing some projects here and there)
• Grow Like Minded (the support group & yoga class we started) into a larger resource.
• Be able to drive myself an hour on the highway.
• Ride 50 miles on my road bike.

• I’m happy to say that I did start stringing my good days into good weeks. Yes, I did still have some terrible days and weeks, but recovery continues to move in the right direction!
• The book thing didn’t happen, but I have been able to read full articles on the computer more consistently, where I used to mostly skim.
• Part-time job – umm…well I thought I found one, but back to the drawing board.
• Like Minded has continued to grow, and with the help of a very active member, we have added a Pilates class, done a cooking class, many participants have joined an art class, and there is discussion of a Bar Class.
• I drove an hour to a TBI Survivor Seminar, and then home again afterwards. It wasn’t on the highway, but it was more than enough driving.
• Fifty miles on the bike didn’t happen, but I made it to 21. I’m pretty sure I could do 50, but I would be miserable afterwards. Riding 21 miles and feeling good enough afterwards to socialize with friends that night was a win!

True, all of my 2018 recovery goals weren’t achieved, but reaching the goal isn’t always the point. It is setting the goal and the process of working towards it that matters. If you don’t set the goal, you have 0% chance of reaching it. Recovery is slow, frustrating, and hard, but as my mom always said, “Life is what happens while you are sitting around waiting for it to start.” Take a minute to think about your year. The good, the bad, the achievements, the little things that made you smile, and all the moments that added up to another 365 days of your life. Don’t let another year go by, waiting until you are better to live your life. Recovery happens at it’s own pace, but life keeps moving so get after it!

What will 2019 bring for you?