There is currently 16 inches of snow outside and it is still coming down. Right as we were getting ready to leave the house so Josh could drive me to work, the clinic called and let me know that almost every appointment had canceled and I should stay home. It seems like the perfect time to settle in for a blog post with my comfy sweater, and a cup of tea.

For the last 4 years, winter has been more of a struggle for me than any other season. As the current storm was approaching I spent Sunday afternoon in bed for an hour. We had dinner plans, so I managed to drag myself out of bed only to then sit on the kitchen floor trying not to vomit as the world tilted off axis. Sometimes it is shocking how fast it can hit me.

Earlier that morning I had been on an incredibly windy run with friends. We headed up Bear Peak clutching rocks and trees, or crouching down as the gusts hit while we navigated the icy rocks. Three of us continued on to South Boulder Peak, and I was laughing the whole time at the ridiculousness of being out there by choice. A couple of years ago I wouldn’t have been laughing. It would have been terrifying and disorienting to be out in that kind of wind. I was telling Josh about this after returning home, and how great it was to see the progress I had made. Ironically, within a matter of a few hours I was on the floor.

Winter is hard for many people with brain injury. With the changing barometric pressure of frequent winter storms, and the falling snow, I am consistently more symptomatic. It can be hard to embrace winter, but that is my goal this year and I’m trying. For me, I find the best way to get through winter is by getting out in the snow to play and appreciating the beauty…and also by making plans to escape somewhere warmer.

Next year has some great adventures in store. In July, Josh and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary and August will be my 5 year “crashiversary”. It seems like a big year to celebrate and I wanted to go back to Italy for a hut to hut running trip through the Dolomites. It was in the Italian town of Cortina that I spent 2 days in bed sleeping after my crash. I felt that I had missed out on seeing the jagged peaks of the Dolomites during our cycling trip and thought it would be a great “redemption” tour.  That idea was quickly shot down though, as Josh said he never, ever, ever planned on going back to the Dolomites.  I have to say that I was shocked. The time spent in the Dolomites was frustrating because I was missing out on our vacation. For Josh, it was terrifying. He knew that I was not okay, and I continually insisted that I was, and I was getting back on my bike no matter what he said. There was no fear for me, only frustration and annoyance. I truly had no sense of how impaired I was. Josh could see it and he was afraid I was going to crash again with an even worse outcome. Returning to the Dolomites for him would be a much different experience.

It seemed that my Dolomites redemption tour would be better served with a girls trip sometime down the road, so at the suggestion of a friend, we came up with plan B.  Next summer we are heading to run/hike the 100 mile Tour du Mont Blanc through France, Italy, and Switzerland, staying in rifugios along the way. Josh and I had originally planned to do it on our own in 5 days, or maybe that was just my idea. After many discussions, Josh said he wanted it to actually be a vacation and suggested we could have more fun with friends, covering shorter days and leaving more time to play tourist, drink wine, and stop for snacks along the way. Since it is a popular trek, and lodging was already filling up, we got on it and have our plane tickets and lodging reservations all set up for 7 days on the trail plus a rest day, and the company of two wonderful friends.

With that big trip on the calendar, I started thinking about what races I’d like to sign up for. I came really close to dropping my name in the lottery for the Tahoe 200 miler. Yes, I said it, a 200 mile race. My mother’s response to this was, “What is wrong with you?” As a 200 mile race is an expensive endeavor, it seemed like this might not be the year for it, but much to Josh’s dismay this is on my bucket list to do in the next couple years. With that option off the table, an early season 100 miler seemed to be the best fit, and with that I signed up for Bryce Canyon 100 at the end of May. Josh registered for the 50 miler, and we have a dozen or so friends that signed up for various race distances. It should be a great weekend. Unfortunately, with a lot of my friends signed up to race, I don’t know who will pace me, but I think Josh is pretty happy that it won’t be him. Anybody want to come play?

While the race doesn’t actually go through Bryce National Park, we can do a short hike or two in the days before or after the race. We are also heading down for the Antelope Canyon 50K in Page, Arizona in March, and likely head southwest again in April for a Trans-Zion run or Rim to Rim to Rim(aka R2R2R) in the Grand Canyon. I have never spent any time down in that area and I will be excited to visit these national park regions. On this cold snowy winter day, it is fun to dream of escaping the snow to play on desert trails.

All of these early season races mean a lot of cold snowy training miles. It is good motivation to keep getting out there and not simply go into hibernation mode. Maybe someday I can learn to love the snow as much as Kili Monster does. For today though, our morning run was canceled, work was canceled, and hibernation seems just the ticket. Perhaps I will add – bake some cookies – to my to do list.