As one year comes to a close, many people choose to set resolutions for the year to come. I prefer to look back and appreciate the major accomplishments and small victories of the last year. For the past 7 years, this reflection has given me an appreciation for the closing year and a chance to observe the gradual progress of brain injury recovery that often isn’t evident from day to day.

Holiday Travel

Traveling during the holidays can be stressful for anyone. This year, after dinner with family, we flew to Phoenix on Christmas night. We escaped the snow and cold with a 70-mile training week in Phoenix and Tucson and enjoyed a short visit with friends. Historically, travel by plane or car has been hard for me.

This year was no exception, and I was a complete disaster heading home yesterday on New Year’s Eve. That morning, we got up to run 12 miles (on some rocky trails, which taxes my brain), then drove 2 hours through stop-and-go traffic from Tucson back to Phoenix, then flew home. Halfway through the drive, I was done. Ever since my brain injury, my “fight or flight” systems tend to be on high alert. With people darting in and out of traffic, accelerating and then stopping suddenly, I was shrieking and air braking, and driving Josh crazy. I was white-knuckling the door, and the center console as my brain went into full meltdown.

By the time we arrived at the car rental return, Josh had to hold me up as I drunk walked through the airport, then curled up on a chair in the corner of an empty gate with my noise-canceling headphones and my coat over my head to block out the light. I realize this doesn’t sound like an accomplishment; however, the progress comes from the fact that even last year, I wouldn’t have even attempted this trip. Getting through holiday celebrations with a brain jury can be a challenge in itself. Traveling at any time can be very overstimulating. Doing both on the same day would have been unimaginable, so even as bad as I felt yesterday, I’m okay today, and this was a big win.

Certificate In Applied Animal Behavior from the University of Washington

While not graduate-level work, going back to school last fall and completing this certificate program this summer was still a stretch. Figuring out how to manage school, work, and training was a juggling act, especially because reading continues to be difficult. I can handle articles online, reviewing medical records, and other day-to-day reading, but reading for an extended period of time in small print format requires far more mental focus.

If there is anything I’ve learned during these years, it is that the brain adapts to what we ask it to do, and recovery only progresses as far as we continue to push. I have found ways around needing to read, so I haven’t made a lot of progress on this front. Perhaps that needs to be a goal for next year.

My First Podium Finish – North Fork 50 mile

I’ve never been a “fast” runner, but that speed is something I’ve been working hard to increase. I’m still no elite athlete, but it was super cool to pull off this 3rd place finish. You race the people that show up, and it is the first time I actually raced – hunting down and passing a woman in the last 3 miles of the course. I knew it was a small women’s field and hoped for the top 5, but didn’t realize that final effort would lead to a podium finish until the announcer called my name as I came across the line.

The Leadville Trail 100

Finishing this race was a big accomplishment for several reasons. I avoided Leadville for many years because my brain wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Leadville is a huge race; the spectators are everywhere, the aid stations are a circus, and there are about 800 headlamps and crowds of people for miles at the start. I’ve done much smaller 100-mile races for a reason, and this would have been way too overstimulating for my brain in the past.

As it is, my brain struggled with the barometric pressure change as a thunderstorm came through going over Hope Pass. With nausea and vertigo, I thought my race was over, and I wouldn’t even make it back to Twin Lakes. Once the storm moved through, I was very proud of how I turned this race around. It was by far the strongest I’ve ever felt on the back half of 100 miles, and I never reached the “why am I out here? I’m never doing this again” phase that I typically experience.

Run the Year and 100 bonus miles

Among the running community, I know a lot of people that set a goal of “running the year”, which means 2022 miles in 2022. If you are a person that runs every single day (which I don’t), this averages 5.5 miles a day for the entire year. Even with all my previous ultramarathons, I’ve never actually accomplished this mileage. There has always been an off-season, a time when my mileage drops or I switch to doing more time on the bike.

This year, even with about 6 weeks of zero running (during travel, post-race recovery, and softball injury recovery), I managed 100 bonus miles – 2122 total miles, the most I have ever done. I’m super thankful to Dr. Michael Morrison at RedHammer Rehab for keeping my body going through all those miles. I would never have imagined my body could sustain that kind of mileage.

So here we are in 2023, and I’m pretty excited for the year to come. We already have some pretty exciting travel plans for the summer and fall. For now, it looks like some snowy training in the weeks ahead as we prepare for upcoming races. In a few weeks, we are off to Moab for the Arches Ultra 50k. Then we will head back to Phoenix in February for Josh’s big 100k debut at Black Canyon 100k. Then after 18 months of solid training, it is time to switch things up and give my body a break. My 2023 will involve a lot more time on the bike.

No matter how big or small, may you find your own victories to celebrate – Happy New Year.