Race season has kicked off with a bang! January 25th was Arches Ultra in Moab, UT, followed up by a trip to Phoenix, AZ for Elephant Mountain 50k. It was two weekends in a row celebrating friends running their first 50ks, and it was so much fun!

Moab didn’t quite turn into the warm desert paradise run that I was hoping for. It was 28 degrees and snowing at the start. I wouldn’t often say this, but thankfully it didn’t warm up. The weather stayed cloudy and cold all day, which kept things from getting slushy and muddy…except for that one steep north facing downhill of not just peanut butter, but more like warm, melty crazy slippery peanut butter mud. The course was fun, with very runnable singletrack, winding sections of slick rock, and a fast first half. The climbs on the second half are steeper and slower, and we weren’t super brave on the snowy steep descents.  All the aid stations were amazing (hello hot & fresh quesadillas and tator tots!!!!!). We set a faster than expected pace and Kristi finished her first 50k looking like she could have finished the 50 miler. Shout out to Mad Moose Races and their finish line enchiladas. Sooooooo good! And of course, a huge thank you to my husband who was sick, felt miserable, and drove me out to Moab anyway.

Phoenix made up for lack of sun in Moab…and a little extra.  The morning started off perfectly. I surprised my friend Anne Marie at the starting line of the race. Sometime last year, I had promised I would run her first 50k with her, but she didn’t know I was coming. When I said hello, she stared at me blankly for a minute before the tears hit. We only had a few minutes before the race started, and she was so shocked that all her nerves about the race went away. Thankfully Josh was finally feeling well enough to run the 35k, and I’m so glad he got to play on the trails. Even though he started 30 minutes later, it wasn’t long before he caught us and went flying by.

A lot of the course was technical and rocky, and it had 1000+ more feet of gain than Arches Ultra. Overall it was still almost all runnable and running at a lower elevation makes you feel like a rockstar. The race travels through Cave Creek Regional park into Spur Cross Ranch. Saguaro cactus are thick through this region, and I love all their different shapes. As we hit mid-day the temperature was in the mid-70s at least (or maybe 90 or 100, I’m not sure). I was stuffing ice down my sports bra and when I asked the volunteer at the aid station to pour water on my head he asked, “Are you serious?” Anne Marie had to explain, “She’s not from around here”.  I’m all for shorts and sunshine, but this time of year I am not acclimated for running in 75 degree weather. She may not have had the most ideal training plan, but balancing time between work and her three little kids, Anne Marie found a way to log the miles, and cross that finish line looking strong.

These two weekends gave me some good perspective on my recovery. For starters, we were barely 90 minutes into the drive to Moab by the time my brain was wrecked. We had to stop in Georgetown to take a break. As good as I have been feeling recently, I really didn’t anticipate having any trouble with this 6 hour drive. It was frustrating and humbling, because I had thought I was doing well enough to even share some of the driving.

I lasted longer on the way back from Moab, but I was still disoriented and required assistance to walk by the time we stopped in Frisco for dinner. It was a much needed reality check because we had plans to drive 10+ hours to Page, Arizona for Antelope Canyon 55k in March. Then 10+ hours to Hatch, Utah for Bryce Canyon 100 miler in May. As we sat eating pizza in Frisco, Josh announced he was buying plane tickets instead because he didn’t want to deal with the disaster I would become trying to make a 10+ hour drive. He pulled out his phone, logged on to the United app, and with a few clicks disaster was averted. We finished our pizza, and then we sat in traffic, crawling along for 3 hours before finally getting home.

Traveling to and from Phoenix was smoother, but it did make me re-evaluate a solo trip to Austin in April. In my last post I mentioned that I would be heading there by myself for a conference and what a big deal that was. Well, after this trip I realized that yes, I am doing much better, but I still rely heavily on Josh. I often take for granted how much he helps me. I rely on him to navigate the airport, figure out where to get food, and get us to and from wherever we are staying. As I sat yesterday starting to sort out details for the Austin trip I had a panic attack just thinking about doing all of that by myself.

After two full days at the conference, my brain is going to be pretty spent. Simply being at a conference for 2 days is a big deal and getting myself home afterwards might be rough. To his credit, Josh didn’t say anything about me traveling alone. However, when I said I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, and maybe he could come, he was relieved. He confessed that he hadn’t liked the idea and was worried I would end up hiding and crying in the corner of the airport alone. I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable traveling, but being someone that was formerly very comfortable traveling internationally by myself, I really hate being dependent on the help of my husband. As in I really, really, really hate it. But I am also incredibly grateful that he is always willing to give that help when I need it.

I learned that I’m not yet ready to drive myself to Moab, or do a 10+ hour car ride for my other races. I learned that I’m not yet ready to travel by myself for a long weekend. The key words here are “not yet”. This year I’m doing way more traveling than I have been able to do since the crash, and even a year ago my brain would not have tolerated traveling back to back weekends.

Race season is off to a good start. Two weekends, two races, and two awesome friends. Congratulations to Kristi and Anne Marie. I can’t even tell you how fun it is for me to welcome people to the crazy world of ultrarunning. Both of these women are the best kind of friends anyone could hope for. Through the past 4 years of brain injury recovery, these two women supported me more than they can even know. As I logged my training miles on the way to that first 100 miler, they told me they could never run as far as I was running. They didn’t think they were distance runners. They didn’t think it was possible to run 50k. I feel so lucky that I could share this achievement with both of them.

Something is only impossible until you do it.

15 weeks until the 4th TBI to 100